When you put your hair in a ponytail at the gym, but it's still long enough to stick to your armpits. It's truly when I feel at my most attractive.Ĩ. When I pull out my white-blonde hair from the drain, it looks like discarded rice noodles pulled out of a dumpster. Pulling out a massive clump of your discarded mush from the shower drain.
Basically, in any given position, I'm going to spend 85 percent of time trying to pull hairs out of my mouth in a hot way.ħ. God help you if you're on top during love. It's probably yours but what if it's not.Ħ. Almost every single day I think, Should I just cut it off if I like the way it looks when it's pulled back? I mean, that's basically a short haircut with a secret in the back.ĥ. You put your hair up in a ponytail so often you wonder why you even have long hair to begin with. And now I have an awkward bob haircut whether I wanted to or not.Ĥ. Your hair getting trapped in your scarf in the winter. I mean, it's, like, silver, so it's kind of like a stretchy bracelet with gross pieces of hair stuck in it?ģ. Trying to convince yourself that hair elastic on your wrist looks kind of chic. I may as well have forgotten pants or a shirt or my house keys. The hell that is leaving the house without a hair elastic. Eventually, we'll just cave and put it in a sloppy bun so we can get back to business, the business of love.Ģ1 Problems Only Long Haired Girls Understandġ. If she's on top, she'll spend 60 percent of your time trying to keep her hair out of your mouth. This is a very painful process, so I'm just saying rings are better.ġ1. Long hair finds necklaces and attaches itself to them until it has to be ripped from its claws. Buying her a necklace is basically like buying her a trap for her hair to get caught in. This not only hurts like hell, it also means we have to get up and brush it out, or it will drive us insane.ġ0. Every time you run your fingers through her hair she will get just a little bit terrified you're going to hit a tangle.
How are you OK right now?" Long-haired women are tough, man. One time I tried to brush out a particularly intense set of tangles and my boyfriend at the time said, "That is the worst sound I've ever heard. The sound of her detangling her dry hair will chill you to your core. For the record, every time you notice this is the case before we have to tell you, we fall a little bit more in love with you.Ĩ. Get ready to be constantly told to move your arm because it's pinning her hair down like a sixth grader wrestler. I don't know how we have enough hair to make a wig for a hamster after every shower, but we do, so get used to it.ħ. You'll need to befriend a plumber fast or your bathtub drain will never be the same. And if we air dry it and it's winter, we can't leave the house for two hours minimum, so get cozy.Ħ. Even if she blows her hair dry at super turbo ultra speed, it will still take 45 minutes. Hopefully you'll see all the hair on your sweater/couch/TV and be like, "Aww. Her hair will soon cover everything you own like a protective yet creepy coating. The point is not to try them, the point is to wish someone else would make your hair look like that, then realize they won't, and move on with your life.Ĥ. No, she is probably never going to try any of the elaborate hairstyles she is constantly obsessing over on Instagram. Even if we only kind of wanted to put our hair up, knowing that we can't do that unless we track down a nearby CVS and buy another 4,000 of them (they only come in 4,000 packs, BTW) is maddening and similar to when the Hulk becomes the Hulk.ģ. Be prepared to deal with the shitstorm that is her realizing she does not have a hairband on her and she's not at home. Seuss never made a whimsical book about all the places you can keep hairbands is beyond me.Ģ. In our purse, on our wrist, in the shower, on the counter.
She is basically a human pile of hairbands. 11 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Girl With Long Hairġ.
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